Myka: With Wednesday Balms, the usage of the word, “interpretation” is important.
A lot of the material is going to resonate in different ways for different people.
Wisdom is the most objective domain it is the easiest concept to get on the same page with everyone else. As we move away from Wisdom, that objectivity shifts from the external to the internal. My lived feeling and experience of Peace and Love is different from Kellen’s, which will be different than yours.
All of that to say, Peace and Love can feel a bit too abstract and in response, some people may feel discouraged or disconnected. The confusion isn’t a sign that you’re doing anything wrong, but rather it’s kind of the point.
The “mental-muscle” to be engaged is similar to the one used for reading poetry, listening to classical music, or staring at a painting.
It is less, “what is the meaning?” and instead, “what does this mean to you?”
Something similar to imagination.
Kellen: Because these topics exist in a realm of play, they are both challenging to write as well as challenging to digest. They exist in a way that blurs the lines between fantasy and reality. While playing with the material that we present, we get to create and construct our own meaning.
Myka: There is no “right” answer. If you read these and it makes you think of something that you find useful or helpful - AWESOME. Run with it. Take what works, leave what doesn’t, but come back and tell us what worked. Any insight you have is valuable and represents something we can all benefit from.
Kellen: Keeping something in our heads exists in a private realm, while making material public means it gets to grow and be nourished.
And with that, we finally move on to Freedom.
Today’s Lineup:
Side A - What is (not) Freedom
Side B - The Experience of Freedom
Side C - Unearned Freedom
Experiment for Earning Freedom
Side A - What is (not) Freedom
Myka: At this point in time, after reading and applying all these Wednesday Balms, you may feel a little like this . . .
Myka: If that’s the case, then here’s another Wednesday Balm for you . . .
Take away Wisdom take away Peace, take away Love.
All that is left is Freedom.
In absolute simplicity, Freedom is just empty space.
A blank page, an open field, a clear sky.
Side B - The Experience of Freedom
Kellen: Freedom exists all around us - everything is a choice.
The weight of Freedom can be either suppressing and traumatizing, or liberating and exciting. Maybe it can be a blend of all of those, but what we do with our Freedom contributes to whether there has been an earned component to it.
Myka: I’m paraphrasing a bit but . . .
In the seventh grade, I had a teacher who, on the first day of school, pointed to the door of the classroom and said,
“That door is both the entrance and the exit, come and go as you please. I’m not going to keep you here if you don’t want to be here.”
To the fifteen or so (private school) kids in the class, that phrase was so outlandish and so ridiculous that it sounded like a joke. Everyone in the room, was probably thinking the same thing. No, we are in school, we have to be here, we can’t leave.
Amidst the chuckles and disbelief, someone vocalized our collective thoughts and said,
“Wait, are you being serious? We can just get up? And leave?”
To which, the teacher said,
“Yes, of course. Your parents work really, really hard to get you here. Other kids would love to be where you are. If you want to waste all the hard work it took to get you here and not participate in this opportunity - go for it. I’m not here to make you do anything you don’t want to. If you’re going to be here, it is because you want to be here.”
I am unsure how the rest of the class received that message. But for me, that was one of the most definitive moments of my life. The truth of that statement rocked me to my core and activated a sense of agency in my life that I previously did not have.
Up until that moment, I went to school because I “had” to. Situationally, yes, I was very fortunate and I understand that now. But at the time, I just didn’t want to be there and I felt that I had no say in the matter.
The statement liberated me. It didn’t necessarily make me feel better, but it made me realize that no one was forcing me to do anything.
There was a strong compelling reason to do what I was doing, but that inescapable pressure that I thought I was under, that was all in my head. After that moment, even if I didn’t want to go to class, even if I didn’t like what I was doing - the fact that at any moment I could leave, made the choice entirely mine. Maybe the failures stung a little harder, because they were entirely my own doing. But the successes were even better for that exact same reason.
Kellen: When I thought of the experience of Freedom, I immediately thought of sky diving. Not the sensation of falling and flying, but the realization I had once I was on the ground. When laying on the grass at Kapiolani Park and looking up at the sky, I reflected that, I was up there just an hour earlier. The clouds were not as far as I once thought they were.
I had this sensation that the limits of what I thought was possible had just ruptured, and a world of potentials had opened up.
This was my sensation of freedom, the breaking of the boundaries that I did not realize existed within me in the first place.
Side C - Earned vs Unearned
Myka: Freedom of choice doesn’t mean Freedom from consequence.
In order to earn Freedom, one must sacrifice many valuable things - Wisdom. Peace. Love. To be Wise is to have a thorough understanding of reality. To be Peaceful is to have a complete acceptance of reality. To have Love is to specifically engage and react with reality.
All of these things provide frameworks, rulesets, and guidelines for action.
Unearned Freedom is wanting to have more space without sacrificing anything for it. A desire for choice without consequence. Having a cake and eating it too.
Kellen: Freedom is illusive because our society has attempted to provide us with Unearned Freedom. We have been given too many options, too many potentials and these are all dangled in front of us. It excites us to imagine the possibilities, however they are catalysts for disappointment and anxiety rather than true Freedom.
Paradoxically, Freedom is more palpable when it is restricted.
When we are on a plane, when we are out of electricity or internet, when we are out on a hike, when we are alone with our thoughts.
These restrictions allow us to encounter freedom directly.
Myka: Imagine having a box of crayons with every color imaginable. If someone told you, you can only use ONE color, the knee jerk reaction would be to feel limited. In reality, if one’s sense of Freedom has truly been earned, they will still be able to express themselves despite the limited palate.
Freedom isn’t the ability to use every color, but rather the ability to use *any* color without limitation.
Kellen: Maybe it comes down to novelty - our experience of something different. Novelty is associated with Freedom, however novelty for the sake of novelty is hollow. Novelty occurring due to the expansiveness of potentials is different.
If we are used to too much, what might be freeing is having too little.
In this case, it can be the experience of a realm that we are not used to encountering. Earning this Freedom is confronting potentialities that we fear or disown, rather than embarking on a broad stroke decree of chaos.
Myka: Anarchy as a response to restriction is not Earned Freedom.
Kellen: Earned Freedom results in opportunity for spontaneity, while Unearned freedom is impulsive.
Earned freedom is developing new rules for oneself, while Unearned freedom is breaking rules for the sake of rebellion.
Experiment for Earning Freedom
Myka: In every expressive endeavor, there is a degree of theory.
Music Theory, Literary Theory, even things like “when to make an insta-post” can be a form of theory. These things seemingly exist as rules to these processes. You have to use these notes in these ways. You must follow this grammatical structure. Don’t post this or that. Etc.
In the context of Freedom, the truth is you don’t have to follow those rules at all. You can play notes out of scale. You can write professional letters using pidgin (li dat). You CAN do anything you want to.
Will there be consequences or unfavorable outcomes for sending your boss too much informal language? Fa-sho. But understanding the full spectrum of actions and moving against imagined boundaries can help make space for yourself.
Kellen: My mind goes to fashion - “I could never pull that off.”
We limit ourselves all the time, why not confront the etiquette and rules we have placed on our own way of being?
Myka: For this week’s experiment, try to wear something that isn’t necessarily your “style.” Try on a new color or a new type of clothing you’ve always wanted to wear. As much as possible, do it less for sake of novelty, but instead with the intention of feeling, “I can rock this.”